hingle coaching

Conflict Resolution

This is one model for conflict resolution. Members should resolve conflict with the group or other members of the group as soon as possible. Here’s how that can be done:
  1. The person with the issue, the Initiator, lets another person, the Responder, know that the Initiator has a conflict and asks if the Responder would be willing to hear them.
  2. The Intiator asks someone to facilitate the process.
  3. The Initiator starts by saying what they heard or saw using facts, as if they were writing a news story, rather than making judgments or stating their feelings. For instance, “When I was in the middle of a sentence, you started speaking.” The Responder repeats what they heard the Initiator say. The Responder does not correct the facts yet. The Facilitator asks if the Initiator feels heard.
  4. The Initiator continues with “When you… I feel… because I think…. What I want is….” For instance, “When you interrupt me, I feel angry because I think you’re not respecting my space. What I want is for you to allow me to finish my thoughts.” The Responder repeats what they heard the Initiator say. The Facilitator asks if the Initiator feels heard.
  5. The Facilitator asks the Responder if they have any additional or alternate facts that might clear up the conflict. If so, the Initiator repeats what they heard the Responder say.
  6. The Facilitator asks the Initiator if this situation reminds them of anything in their past. Regarding the thought of the Initiator, i.e., “you’re not respecting my space,” the Facilitator may ask, “What else could be true?” Other questions to ask in this example are, “Do you respect their space?” “Do you respect your own space?”
  7. The Facilitator asks the Responder if they are willing to give the Initiator their want. Have the Initiator repear their want.
  8. The Facilitator asks if the Initiator is complete with the process.
  9. The Facilitator asks if the Responder needs to do a process or if they are complete.
  10. End with a friendly gesture.
Steve is available to facilitate conflict resolutions.
Call or email Steve to set up your free coaching session: 608-572.0084